The Adventures of Dirty Underwear
by ECDeadly
Summary: **WARNING**: DIRTY LANGUAGE, IMPLICATED SEXUAL CONTENT AND SOME OTHER ADULT CONTENT Another Panty and Stocking fanfic. Reading this? Well better keep it away from other people's sight. If you don't want any judging to be occurred.
1. Warm, Moist Welcome

"Alright, that'll beee... twenty-one, ninety-five sir."

"I got it. Here:"

"Thank 'yah, have a nice day."

"No problem."

I excited the cab with my bag slung over my shoulder. I started to walk over this rather interesting house that could possible put Tim Burton to shame as I-

"Panty! Get 'cho ASS out of bed and- who the _hell _is this?"

"WOAH HEYY I WAS JUST HERE FO-"

Then I just see a naked man burst through the roof.

The roof.

"That chucklefuck didn't even take his clothes with him..."

"Whatever- STOCKING, YO-"

"Garter Belt, what in the holy fucking fuck did I say about mornings? CHUCK GET THE FUCK OFF MY-"

Then through the other side of the roof, a green thing shot through.

Now it looks kinda symmetrical.

"SHUT. UP. You two, we have a guest- a good friend of mine-"

"Bondage Blowjob Buddies?"

"Panty! You know Garterbelt doesn't swing that way- oh maybe he does..."

"Uhm, fuck yeah remember Brief-"

"Urfug, SHUT. Anyway, he's coming-"

"He's here." I said, my head poking through the open doorway.

"Oh the door's open by the way." I added.

"Must be that guy I came in with..." The blonde on commented.

"Jesus Christ, Panty, at least have proper fuck ettiquette. Futiquette? Fuquette? Ettifuck- I don't even know." The other one- the gothic dressed one said, exasperated.

"I guess cursing is not an issue here." I mumbled.

"SHUT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK UP!" Garterbelt yelled, waving his hands around the air.

Oh yeah. Totes not the issue.

"Who's that?" The blonde one asked, looking at me in question.

"The _guest_." Garterbelt said, hustling over to me as he uncomfortable placed an arm around my shoulder as and showed to the girls.

They are quite attractive really but really contrast in-

"That's Panty, and That's Stocking." Garterbelt introduced me to the two.

"Yo." Panty said, waving. Her hair is all messed up, and she's only wearing a bedsheet that surpsingingly is not doing a good job of covering up.

" 'Sup." Stocking said, waving as well, which she was wearing skull patterned peejay's, and weirdly enough has some weird makeup around her lips and the same on her hand-

Oh that's caaake.

"Hey." I replied, nodding my head to their presence.

"Who are you?" Panty asked, walking closer to me as she leaned over on me.

"You look okay..."

"Oh that's surprising coming from you." Stocking says, scoffing.

"The fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm sayying you're a sluuuuuut."

"Damn- I thought you wouldn't finish it." Panty muttered.

"I'm Boxers." I said in the most straightest face ever. The three looked at me oddly.

"Reeeaaaaal original." Stockings rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, like, 200 other people used that idea, dumbass." Panty sighed.

"...it was funnier in my head." I said, turning a little coy.

"Nice to meet you, 'Boxxy'. Just, uhm. Stay away from Panty; her cave is STD City. And just give me all your sweets, and we're all good."

"Sounds like a plan." I replied, sounding a bit optimistic.

"...So he is gonna be here for us for quite a while, he... the one who is actually _responsible_ can take care of shit better than you two can on a good day, so thank the lord he is here."

"Right." Panty said, turning away.

"Where the _hell_ are you going?" Garterbelt yelled,

"I'm going read the bible- what _else_ do you think I'd do?! Jesus Christ..." Panty said, slamming the door behind her.

"Ugh- and wait,Stocking! Get back-"

"NOPE." She then slammed the door on her room herself.

Then it was just me and him.

"Soo..." Garterbelt started.

"Wanna-"

"I'm gonna sleep outside."

END OF INTRO/One

**Hope you guys liked this, this is probably the dirtiest fan fic I have written in my entire life, so. I'mma take a shower after this.**

**Have a good day!**


	2. Minisode One: Sleeping Predicament

**Minisode One: Settling In**

I said I'd sleep outside but it was too cold.

So here I sit in the pew facing the cross in the middle of the night. My eyes were bloodshot my posture sank.

I placed a bag down beside me for a pillow, then I lay down resting my head on it, closing my eyes after a long day of unpack-

"UNGH UNGH YES"

"YES! GIMME MORE!"

SMACK!

"THAT RIGHT, BITCH U WANT DAT D DONT CHU"

"OH YEAH DADDY GET IT INNN~!"

I see why I saw Stocking brought earmuffs to her room.

It was so rowdy the dude lacked punctuation.

And spelling.

Or actual English.

"Jesus Christ." I slammed a pillow on top of my head, hoping to muffle down the sounds.

"Don't but his name in vain, Boxers..." I heard Garter said, almost flipping shiz when I realized he was standing over me.

"Or else..." Then I heard a loud sound of a whip snapping.

"Y-Yeah..."

"If you want, you can sleep in the basement. Pretty cramped though..."

"That'll be great, thanks."

I dragged my bags downstairs as I then tripped and toppled along, letting my luggage break my fall.

So much for that China collection I had...

As I sat up I looked around the place, it was really dark. I got up and pulled out a lighter.

I don't smoke, I just thought it was cool to have a lighter.

I flicked it and the small flame did not illuminate the room properly. I saw a candle standing there on a table and I gave it my fire.

Then a chain reaction occured and all the other candles lit up and-

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"What did I say about that, Boxers?" I yelped turning around to see Garterbelt behind me.

Minus 90% of his clothes...

I gulped and said, "I said Cheesus Chrust, Garterbelt. It's a restuarunt I wanted to see..."

"...Fine." He said, turning away from me and walking away- oh those are definitely assless chaps.

I dragged my bags back up and stopped to listen to see if-

"YEAH GURL U GO GURL"

"Jeeeeeezz... Just the pizza..." I said outloud, if he was watching...

I can't sleep with the noise... And I am definitely not going back down there.

I can... maybe ask for them to quiet them down?

I climbed the stairs towards Panty's room but putting my hand on the railing and my hand felt something sticky.

I narrowed my eyes looking at my hand, is it wax? Maybe for wood furnishi-

I spat it out immediately and turned around.

NOPE.

I walked towards Stocking's room to see if she has any spares.

But again, when I place my hand on the railing (this time my opposite hand) It was sticky.

"GOD...this ARCHITECTURE IS BEAUTIFUL. May he bless the people who construct this place."

Wait, this is more thick, and creamy.

Should I...?

No, not like last time! Imagine what everyone else would say?! No I can't...

But I'm curious...

...

It was cake.

Thank the heavens.

I walked up to Stocking's door and knocked on it gently, but it was crudle open just a smidge, I only saw a fraction of her face, and that green thing below her, both giving me a look.

"Got the stuff?

"Huh? What?"

"The stuff." She slowly took her hand out with her palm up. As if she wanted something...

"I don't know what you are talking abo-" Her quickly took her hand back in and slammed the door.

My eyes were wide. I frazzled my hair out of frustration and walked back downstairs.

Did she mean sweets?

I sifted through my bag and found pie wrapped in plastic.

It was actually my fave-

"IMGONNACREAMBEBE"

Sacrifices must be made.

Returning to the front of her door, I knocked on it again and without social interaction, she chucked a pair of earmuffs at me and snatched the pie.

I sighed in relief and took it back to the pew, where I then began to sleep.

Then I realized how it got quiet all of a sudden. Is it.. is it over?

"Redy 4 rund 2"


End file.
